West End Doula

Thoughts from the heart and mind of a new doula.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Disappointment

I've turned down the birth with the Afghani woman, much to my dismay. Every time I thought about it, I had a panic attack. I think someone with more experience is needed in her situation, so it went back to my referral coordinator for her to resolve.

I feel terrible.

I probably could have done the birth, right? I could have. But I would have been nervous and/or terrified the whole time, if my current state is to be taken as any indication.

My coordinator said it was fine, that these situations happen, and it would be resolved. I still feel like a world class ass for taking the birth in the first place.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Nervousness

I suddenly have two clients.

One is a woman who does not speak English. She is Afghani, and I will be working with a translator. The other is a teenager. These are my first clients. I am a bit nervous, but also thrilled. Okay, more than a bit nervous. Couldn't I have found a nice "simple" mid-thirties mom on her third baby? :)

More later, once I've digested all of this a bit.